Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the greatest show on Twitter, featuring none other than Shakur Stevenson, the maestro of minimal offense and maximal online drama! Fans have long lamented Shakur’s “defensive genius” as the ultimate cure for insomnia, leaving them yearning for a bit more action in the ring and a bit less on their timelines.

“Hey Shakur, how about throwing some punches in the ring instead of throwing shade on Twitter?” quipped one frustrated fan. Indeed, the consensus among the boxing faithful is clear: if only Shakur’s offense were as aggressive as his Twitter fingers, the pay-per-view sales might actually show signs of life!

But wait, it gets better. In a move worthy of a reality TV plot twist, Shakur clapped back at the haters and clout chasers, delivering a digital knockout punch. “Y’all need to stop chasing clout and start chasing some real talent,” he tweeted, likely from his custom Twitter control center.

As we gear up for another year of boxing brilliance in 2024, one thing is for sure: Shakur’s boxing style may not pack a punch, but his Twitter game certainly does. Stay tuned, folks, because in the world of boxing, the real action happens not in the ring, but on the timeline!